What does a personal relationship with Jesus look like?
To help us discern what we are being asked, we need to think about these three aspects of a personal relationship: consistency, vulnerability and truth-rootedness.
A personal relationship with Jesus requires consistency. Our relationship with Jesus requires a commitment of time daily saying “no” to other things and carving out time in quiet to hear his voice. More important than the exact amount of time you spend is the consistency of your commitment. Find a set time to pray each day and remain faithful to it. For most people, this should be a 30-minute block at some point during the day. If that is intimidating, start with 15 minutes. But commit to it, stick to it and don’t let one bad day drive you away.
Vulnerability in prayer is also essential to your relationship with Jesus. There are a myriad of ways to pray, but I must spend time sharing the depths of my heart with Jesus. Whatever is making me angry right now, I bring that to him. Whatever is making me self-conscious, I bring that to him. Whatever I am worried about, I bring that to him. Whatever I am excited about — no matter how trivial any of these may seem — I bring them to him.
Vulnerable prayer is a way of holding nothing back from Jesus. If I don’t tell him what is going on I restrict his ability to work his power in my life. Bringing my concerns to Jesus includes an expectant faith that he wants to do something. He will not dissolve all of the challenges of my life, but he will give me what I need to be faithful and persevere as his disciple in any situation. Vulnerable prayer and obedience to his words leads to deeper discipleship.
I do not think truth-rootedness is actually a word, but it expresses a key aspect for this kind of personal relationship with the Lord. When I come to Jesus, I should remember that he is not there to rubber-stamp my ideas, plans or desires. He is in control and I come seeking his guidance. If I seek a personal relationship with him, this only happens one way: complete trust in him and a willingness to live under his lordship. He is not the co-pilot of my life; he is in the driver’s seat.
My relationship with him must be rooted in the means he has given us to be in communion with him, including time with sacred Scripture, in Holy Communion and regularly confessing my sins in the sacrament of Reconciliation. It is a great temptation to refashion Jesus in my image rather than allowing him to fashion me in his image.
Do I have a personal relationship with Jesus? If I am consistent in taking time to pray, willing to hold nothing back, and ready to let him be Lord of my life, then yes, I do.
Adapted from the writings of Fr. Stephen Pullis